IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Topic 01.It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

It is
agrued
Correct your spelling
argued
 that a significant increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 violent videos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 contributes to
soar
Wrong verb form
soaring
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teenager
Replace the word
teenage
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crime
Use synonyms
. As far as I believe that it should be one of
key
Correct article usage
the key
show examples
 reasons
to
Change preposition
for to
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deteriorate
Replace the word
deterioration
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 in juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine how
sentitive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
 content affects to younger generation and provides viable solutions. Without a doubt, younger people receive numerous bloody and violent
content
Check wording
images
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 day by day. The teen is susceptible
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 online
media
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many
youngers
Use the right word
young people
show examples
 would follow TikTok to
do
Verb problem
engage in
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 dangerous behaviours.
This
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 causes
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
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 suffer from different kinds of injuries, or even die.
In addition
Linking Words
, online videos don't demonstrate the consequences
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 bring if they break the law.
As a result
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, they don't
recongise
Correct your spelling
recognise
to do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 illegal actions. It is the reason why the proportion of juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
 is skyrocketing year by year. In
regard
Check wording
order
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 avoid uncontrollable
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 happening, I recommend that the government should set up some regulations to ban the youth
watch
Wrong verb form
from watching
show examples
 violent reels,
as well as
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 enhance the awareness of violating the law. First of all, we can learn from the
Australia
Use the right word
Australian
show examples
 government to prohibit teenagers
using
Change preposition
from using
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can launch some rules to limit younger people using social
media
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook, TikTok and YouTube.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at the same time, schools can hold various events and
workships
Correct your spelling
workshops
 to educate them
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 risks and results of committing
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, inviting former prisoners
share
Verb problem
to share
show examples
 their own experience
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 students. To a nutshell, banning
sentitive
Correct your spelling
sensitive
 content and educating pupils by personal experience are
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 effective and persuasive methods to curb juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your main idea clear early in the essay, then give two reasons and one or two good solutions.
task
Give one or two clear examples and explain how they show your view.
linguistic
Check spelling and grammar so words are right and easy to read.
cohesion
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a simple line that shows the point.
cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, and finally to join ideas.
cohesion
Keep sentences short and simple to avoid errors.
content
The essay shows a clear wish to deal with the topic and suggest steps to fix the issue.
content
It gives a plan with both government rules and school work to help youths.
effort
Some example ideas are used, such as real life talks with ex-prisoners.
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