IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The flow chart illustrates the consequences of deforestation. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The flow chart represents how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consequences.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are four results after people cut the
forest
Use synonyms
 for
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
 and two
eventually
Replace the word
eventual
show examples
 consequences after all. Whilst cutting clearly the
forest
Use synonyms
, people need to use many heavy
equiments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 to log all the big plants,
as a result
Linking Words
, they
compresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
compress
show examples
 the
soil
Use synonyms
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it
became
Verb problem
apply
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hard and "baked".
Due to
Linking Words
 that
soil
Use synonyms
 condition, when
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heavy rain happens, all the
rain water
Use the right word
rainwater
show examples
 would run off without being held by big trees, and easily
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
flood
Check wording
flooding
show examples
. After cutting the
forest
Use synonyms
, there are fewer roots on the top
soil
Use synonyms
, which
holding
Wrong verb form
holds
show examples
 it in place
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, it erodes. Once
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of burning, involving deliberate or accidental, increases as waste wood from logging
would be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 destroyed. Because of the lack of waste, the
micros-organisms
Use the right word
microorganisms
show examples
, which eat it for living,
also
Linking Words
 lose.
Due to
Linking Words
 the
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of big trees returning moisture to
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
, the precipitation decreases,
consequently
Linking Words
 the drought probability increases In the final stage, once
top
Use the right word
topsoil
show examples
soil
Use synonyms
 erodes, increased drought,
Correct word choice
and micro-organisms
show examples
micro-organisms
Use the right word
microorganisms
show examples
lost
Verb problem
are lost
show examples
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 pioneer species moves in to try to restore the
forest
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Although
Change preposition
Despite
show examples
 those efforts, the biodiversity declines.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words forest, soil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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