IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart provides information about the proportion of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in five different
countries
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Australia
Use synonyms
 had the highest female education in 1980 and 2015,
while
Linking Words
 other
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend during the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1980,
Australia
Use synonyms
 encouraged almost 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of their
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their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 female resident to pursue higher
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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, and accounted
to
Change preposition
for
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 the highest
female's
Check wording
female
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 participation amongst other
countries
Use synonyms
. France had 50 per
cent
Use synonyms
, followed by the USA
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and the UK
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, less than 20 per
cent
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South
Change preposition
of South
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Korean's
Check wording
Korean
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 were enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 university in the initial period, the lowest
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 other
countries
Use synonyms
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 2015,
Australia
Use synonyms
 remained have more than 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
woman
Change preposition
of woman
show examples
participations
Use the right word
participating
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to pursue
Change preposition
in pursuing
show examples
 their careers through better education. Evidently, America, the UK, and South Korea percentages surged drastically more than 15 per
cent
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 from their initial values,
thus
Linking Words
 America achieved the same proportions as
Australia
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Period
Correct article usage
the Period
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
France
Check wording
France's
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 proportion experienced
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
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became
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 approximately 55 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, australia, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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