IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams illustrate the
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different nations for over a decade (2005-2015).
Overall
Linking Words
, Uruguay shows the highest number of
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
subscriptions
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the UK
placed
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the largest sum of fixed
telephones
Fix the agreement mistake
telephone
show examples
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 over the
period
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
first graph,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Eritrea started with 0
subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
show examples
 at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged for over 10 years. India shows the same until 2007,
whereas
Linking Words
 it started to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 abruptly by about 80
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 over 8 years, and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the UK began with 100
membership
Replace the word
members
show examples
 in 2005, it got a sharp increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 30 in 2007, and after that, it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable until 2015. Unlike Uruguay, it started with about 40 subs at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, and it jumped enormously until it reached a peak in 2013,
which
Use the right word
with
show examples
 about 160
membershi
Correct your spelling
members
, before it fell gently by 10 over a year, and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 stable
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, India and Eritrea had the same number of fixed telephone
membership
Fix the agreement mistake
memberships
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same from the beginning till the
end
Use synonyms
,
which
Use the right word
with
show examples
 around 0-5
subs
Check wording
subscribers
show examples
 till the
end
Use synonyms
. Just like them, Uruguay and the UK remain stable with different
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
, which
30
Verb problem
are 30
show examples
 and 60 over the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subscriptions, period, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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