IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map show a change of coastal town, called Petland, from 1950 to 2007

The maps show
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 layout, and the changes that took place in
coastal
Correct article usage
the coastal
show examples
town
Use synonyms
 of Petland from 1950 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of barren lands were utilised for the construction of new amenities and housing over the years,
while
Linking Words
 several locations were demolished for
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of new facilities. In 1995, there was a sea located in the north and
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 industrial area towards the northeastern
part
Use synonyms
 of
town
Use synonyms
. There was a
road
Use synonyms
 built in the centre of
town
Use synonyms
 which connected the north of
town
Use synonyms
 to the south, and the east to the west. A car park was located
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
west
Correct word choice
western
show examples
 end of the
road
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the
south eastern
Use the right word
southeastern
show examples
 and southwestern parts of the
town
Use synonyms
 were grasslands. In 2007, the sea in the north was converted into a Yacht marina. Meanwhile, the industrial area in the northeastern direction was converted into
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area for
multistorey
Correct article usage
a multistorey
show examples
 carpark next to a swimming pool. The
road
Use synonyms
 in the central
part
Use synonyms
 of the
town
Use synonyms
 was
further
Linking Words
 expanded around the Yacht Marina in the north, and some new houses were
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 next to that
road
Use synonyms
 in
northeastern
Correct article usage
the northeastern
show examples
part
Use synonyms
. Several other shops were
build
Wrong verb form
built
show examples
 next to the central
road
Use synonyms
 in the eastern, western and northern
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the space for grasslands in the southeastern
part
Use synonyms
 was
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
 for building a
cinemaroom
Correct your spelling
cinema
,
while
Linking Words
 the southwestern
part
Use synonyms
 was occupied by housing apartments which were connected to the main
road
Use synonyms
 by an extended roadway.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, part, road with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • coast
  • beach
  • town
  • harbor
  • road
  • house
  • houses
  • shop
  • shops
  • park
  • field
  • farm
  • water
  • map
  • year
  • grow
  • build
  • built
  • change
  • expand
  • develop
  • replace
  • new
  • old
  • more
  • less
  • along
  • near
  • center
  • edge
  • fishing
  • tourists
  • people
  • area
  • land
  • sea
  • bay
What to do next:
Look at other essays: