IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The Bar chart illustrates the amount spent on six consumer
goods
Use synonyms
 in four countries -
Britain
Use synonyms
,
France
Use synonyms
, Italy, and Germany.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Britain
Use synonyms
 and Italy spend the biggest amount on six consumer
goods
Use synonyms
 Use synonyms It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 you want to do the opposite for a high band score. compared with the other two countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that Germany and
France
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest consumption rate in different parts. Focusing on the rates that showed
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high spending,
Britain
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest point
over
Change preposition
across
show examples
 all
goods
Use synonyms
categories
Use synonyms
.
Britain
Use synonyms
 spends 165 on photographic film and around 167 on toy
goods
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.
Furthermore
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, the amount spent on
CDs
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 was 165 and perfumes was 160, tennis racquets and personal stereos was 155. Italy consumers showed the second-highest
value
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 on four
categories
Use synonyms
 -
toys
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, perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos. Each
value
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 was around 157, 155, 155, and 150, relatively. Turning to the other two countries, Germany illustrates the lowest figure on four
categories
Use synonyms
 - photographic film,
toys
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,
CDs
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, and Personal stereos. Especially, the consumption of
toys
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 and
CDs
Use synonyms
 was 145, which was the lowest
value
Use synonyms
 over all data.
France
Use synonyms
 was relatively high on photographic film and
toys
Use synonyms
, and
CDs
Use synonyms
 - 165, 157, and 158.
However
Linking Words
, the consumption rates on the other three
categories
Use synonyms
 were low. Tennis racquets rate for
France
Use synonyms
 was only 145, representing the lowest
value
Use synonyms
 for
this
Linking Words
 good.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, britain, france, categories, cds, value, toys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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