IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development

In modern society, many individuals tend to spend most of
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 days at work.
This
Linking Words
 tendency is quite widespread around the world, which can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a negative factor for
people
Use synonyms
's well-being. And I intend to give a brief outline of the main arguments and explain the main reasons for
such
Linking Words
 a development. The majority of
empoyees
Correct your spelling
employees
, especially older
generations
Punctuation problem
generations,
show examples
 try to do their best at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 workplace. The primary reason for
this
Linking Words
 trend is the conditions,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 they had been growing up. In the late 80s, there was an enormous pressure on society to comply strictly in their jobs, which in turn made them a more
valuble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 workforce from the employer's perspective.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 role model went through the generations, particularly influencing
millenials
Correct your spelling
millennials
, who are still
burn
Wrong verb form
burning
show examples
 the midnight oil, even when it is not genuinely required. In the grand scheme of things, the consequences can be dramatic. First of all, long hours at work
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
show examples
 a constant pressure
Change preposition
on at
show examples
at
Use the right word
a
show examples
 person's mental health and neurosystem, which can be
exteremy
Correct your spelling
extremely
 damaging.
People
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 spend more time at work than at home are more likely to feel depressed because
the
Use the right word
they
show examples
 have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 hours to see their families or maintain an active lifestyle.
Secondly
Linking Words
, individuals might be
overwelmed
Correct your spelling
overwhelmed
 with house chores and not
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 able to keep the cleanliness of their houses, which
also
Linking Words
 affects
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 psychological well-being. All things considered, there are huge numbers of nations that
considered
Verb problem
are considered
show examples
 to be
pefrectionists
Correct your spelling
perfectionists
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their workplaces. The past circumstances have influenced our present reality, and it is difficult for
people
Use synonyms
 to
addapt
Correct your spelling
adapt
.
However
Linking Words
, if older
people
Use synonyms
 realise the scale of negative consequences, the issue will be tackled.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Say what you will argue, then give two or three reasons.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Use a clear topic sentence.
linking
Use simple linking words to show how ideas relate, like 'also', 'but', 'therefore','however'.
language
Check your spelling and grammar. Fix common mistakes and keep verb forms right.
example
Give one or two clear examples for each point to support it.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
content
The essay shows a real view that long work hours can hurt people.
structure
There is an attempt to give causes and effects.
structure
There is an intro and a closing idea.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalent
  • economic pressures
  • financial stability
  • competitive job markets
  • corporate cultures
  • stigma
  • demonstrate dedication
  • advent of technology
  • blurred the lines
  • accelerated career progression
  • dedicated employee
  • significant negative implications
  • stress levels
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • social and family time
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
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