The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The initial pie chart is showing the usage of energy in
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
basic Australian home,
while
Linking Words
the second
represent
Correct subject-verb agreement
represents
show examples
how much emissions
where
Use the right word
were
show examples
released. They are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly evident that an average house
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
power
highly
Rephrase
heavily
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for heating, warming of water and operating other
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
. Heat application
account
Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
show examples
for 42% of power
utilization
Change the spelling
utilisation
show examples
, followed by water heating
recording
Punctuation problem
, recording
show examples
30%.
However
Linking Words
, heating results in just 15% of harmful gas emissions,
while
Linking Words
the other moves up to 32%. Operating other appliances produces 28% of
such
Linking Words
gases
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
though their usage is only 15%. Moving ahead, cooling, lighting
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
refrigeration accounted for minor proportions,
thus
Linking Words
2%, 4% and 7% respectively of electricity used.
Not withstanding
Use the right word
Notwithstanding
show examples
, percentages of greenhouse
substances
Check wording
gases
show examples
released were evidently increased. Refrigeration and lighting values doubled up as
cooling's
Check wording
cooling
show examples
increased by just a percentage.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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