IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that modern life forces individuals to live in a constant rush, while others argue that it is still possible to slow down and enjoy life at a comfortable pace. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Society tends to make people
be worried
Wrong verb form
worry
show examples
 about their lives, and tries to make them busy as much as possible
due to
Linking Words
 several factors
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 financial and political issues,
while
Linking Words
 some individuals manage to control their anxiety and stress to a level that they believe
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is possible for anyone to be sane even if they are in chaos. Managing your own life is becoming impossible. By reading depressing
news
Use synonyms
 and watching
rageful
Use the right word
rage-filled
show examples
 videos about
politics
Punctuation problem
politics,
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 you are moving yourself towards insanity and depression.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with the help of recent research about
this
Linking Words
 subject, it can be said that citizens who follow
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 the most are the ones who are likely to have emotional problems in the future. Some say
world
Use synonyms
 leaders want people to be stressed all the time so they can control their actions by controlling their feelings.
For instance
Linking Words
, by talking about a potential war on national TV, people rush into stores to buy
important
Correct word choice
essential
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needs
Check wording
items
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 in case of
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
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, so companies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 own those products can gently push their prices in order to gain more profit in a short time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some think it is possible to both keep your sanity and live in a conflict by simply avoiding unnecessary
news
Use synonyms
. In fact, they impose that
neglection
Use the right word
neglect
show examples
 is the key to a normal life in
this
Linking Words
 new
world
Use synonyms
 that we have.
To sum up
Linking Words
, mind manipulation is the weapon that
world
Use synonyms
 leaders use to rule the
world
Use synonyms
, but in my view, by being wise and not following
some
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
news
Use synonyms
, not only will we not fall into their traps, but we can avoid being chained and have better control over our lives.

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task
Make a clear plan before you write. Say your view in one line, then give two or three ideas to back it up.
coherence
Give one strong reason first and a second reason later to build your case.
grammar
Use simple and clear words. Check big words and spell well.
content
Use examples that fit the prompt and are easy to explain to the reader.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy connect words like 'also', 'but', 'however' to guide the reader.
idea
The text shows an idea that news can affect mood.
focus
It shows a view that one can slow down by not following news.
focus
The essay ends with a clear view about life and news.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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