IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Part 1: The charts below show the use of water for agriculture products in Australia in 2004 and values of these products to the Australian economy in the same year.

The charts below give information about the use of
water
Use synonyms
 supply for Australia's agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 in the year 2004 , and they
also
Linking Words
 show the value of these statistics to the Australian economy in the same period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
fruit
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 were so less in
percentage
Use synonyms
 , 11% of
water
Use synonyms
 agriculture,
however
Linking Words
, in
second
Use synonyms
 side of agriculture side the
fruit
Use synonyms
 increased to 44%. To begin with, From
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used for agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 varies for different types of
fruit
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the livestock had a high step proportion , which was 36%, and from the
second
Use synonyms
product
Use synonyms
, it was dairy;
however
Linking Words
, it was 19%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the cotton was so unique that it was less by itself in proportion 15%, and about the Sugar
product
Use synonyms
 had a strange difference between with first agricultural
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 and with
second
Use synonyms
 source , and it was 20%.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a
fruit
Use synonyms
 itself that
also
Linking Words
 had less
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
usage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 supply 11%, and about rice and vegetable proportions had at least a similar
percentage
Use synonyms
 , and it was around 4% and 5%. From the
second
Use synonyms
 agricultural
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 step,
firstly
Linking Words
, the livestock was 36%
however
Linking Words
, from the
second
Use synonyms
 side, it was 6%, and from Dairy, it had dropped to 24%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the cotton had no changes in two positions , and it was 13% in the
second
Use synonyms
 agricultural
usage
Use synonyms
. About the next
product
Use synonyms
, sugar was removed from the
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 supply.
Instead
Linking Words
 of that, the
Fruit
Use synonyms
product
Use synonyms
 was replaced the its placement , and it increased to the highest proportion 44%. At the final step, the two
products
Use synonyms
 had no changes at all; the rice was 5% and it dropped to 1% and the vegetable increased to 5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, also, firstly, however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, products, fruit, percentage, second, usage, product with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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