IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the use of water for agriculture products in Australia in 2004 and values of these products to the Australian economy in the same year.

The pie charts show the
share
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used for 7 different agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and the
share
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 from these
products
Use synonyms
 in Australia in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 livestock required the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
, vegetables
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accounted for
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
.
Highest
Correct article usage
The highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 came from fruit
products
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to rice produced the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
. Focusing on
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 on
products
Use synonyms
, livestock was apportioned the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 usage(at 36%), distantly followed by dairy
products
Use synonyms
 at 19% and cotton materials at 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
share
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 used in sugar and fruit
products
Use synonyms
 was similar at 10% and 11% respectively. Cultivating rice and vegetables required the lowest proportion of
water
Use synonyms
. When it comes to the
income
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 gained from these
products
Use synonyms
, fruit
products
Use synonyms
 generated the highest amount of money at 44%,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed
secondly
Linking Words
 by dairy and cotton
products
Use synonyms
 (24% and 13% respectively). The
share
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 for sugary, livestock,
vegetable
Correct word choice
and vegetable
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 was relatively similar
ranging
Punctuation problem
, ranging
show examples
 from 7% to 5%. Notably, rice
products
Use synonyms
 generated the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
, being merely at 1%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words share, water, products, income, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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