IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the use of water for agriculture products in Australia in 2004 and values of these products to the Australian economy in the same year.

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The pie charts show the
share
Use synonyms
 of
water
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 used for 7 different agricultural
products
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 and the
share
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 of
income
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 from these
products
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 in Australia in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 livestock required the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
water
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, vegetables
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accounted for
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
.
Highest
Correct article usage
The highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
income
Use synonyms
 came from fruit
products
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to rice produced the lowest
percentage
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 of
income
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. Focusing on
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 on
products
Use synonyms
, livestock was apportioned the highest
percentage
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 of
water
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 usage(at 36%), distantly followed by dairy
products
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 at 19% and cotton materials at 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
share
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 of
water
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 used in sugar and fruit
products
Use synonyms
 was similar at 10% and 11% respectively. Cultivating rice and vegetables required the lowest proportion of
water
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. When it comes to the
income
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that is
Linking Words
 gained from these
products
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, fruit
products
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 generated the highest amount of money at 44%,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed
secondly
Linking Words
 by dairy and cotton
products
Use synonyms
 (24% and 13% respectively). The
share
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 of
income
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 for sugary, livestock,
vegetable
Correct word choice
and vegetable
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 was relatively similar
ranging
Punctuation problem
, ranging
show examples
 from 7% to 5%. Notably, rice
products
Use synonyms
 generated the lowest
percentage
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 of
income
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, being merely at 1%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words share, water, products, income, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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