IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Nowadays,
traffic
Use synonyms
 on roads is a serious
problem
Use synonyms
 in many cities around the world. The number of
cars
Use synonyms
 has increased greatly, which leads to
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams and pollution.
This
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 is caused by several factors,
such
Linking Words
 as population growth and
people
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’s preference for private
transport
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. Nowadays
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
myriad
Correct article usage
a myriad
show examples
 of modern cities,we can face the
problem
Use synonyms
 with
traffic
Use synonyms
 on roads.
Mostly
Punctuation problem
Mostly,
show examples
 it is because of our society.We can prove that with research articles,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
are proofing
Verb problem
prove
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fact,that are saying that it is happening because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 break
speed
Correct article usage
the speed
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 limit and try to
overtaking
Wrong verb form
overtake
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 a car.
However
Linking Words
,the most
cruisial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 cause of
traffic
Use synonyms
 backups
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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increasing the
Correct word order
the increasing
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of vehicles.
Due to
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this
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fact
Punctuation problem
fact,
show examples
 we can say that if
people
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will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not break the speed limit and buy
cars
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in
Change preposition
to
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 some
measure
Check wording
extent
show examples
,we can avoid these problems with
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 these modern
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 a lot of
people
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 are struggling with getting to their location later than they planned.It
also
Linking Words
effects
Use the right word
affects
show examples
 our
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
,because of them,
cars
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 drive more, and
this
Linking Words
 pollutes our environment even more.Troubles with
traffic
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 jams
also
Linking Words
 cause problems with mental health,
how
Correct word choice
as
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 we know in our
society
Punctuation problem
society,
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 we have so many
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are hot-tempered,so it will
do
Verb problem
make
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 them even more angry than usual. We have a large number of solutions for
this
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problem
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,but the best solution for
this
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 difficulty is to create more self-driving
cars
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,because artificial intelligence
are more
Verb problem
is
show examples
 smarter,and they will drive properly to avoid these challenges with congestion.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 it will help us with solving
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
,so that's why we need artificial intelligence to get rid of gridlocks. In conclusion,
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion is caused by several factors
such
Linking Words
 as the increasing number of vehicles, insufficient public
transport
Use synonyms
.To tackle
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
, governments should invest in better public
transport
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 systems and improve infrastructure,
while
Linking Words
 individuals can help by using public
transport
Use synonyms
, cycling, or sharing
cars
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. If both society and individuals take these steps,
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems can be reduced
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 cities can become more efficient and environmentally friendly.

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task
Task response: The essay talks on causes and fix, but some parts are weak. Add 2-3 clear causes with a short link to how they lead to traffic. Add 2-3 clear actions that fit the prompt. End with a short clear conclusion.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The idea comes in a few big blocks. Use order words like first, next, and finally. Link each idea to the one before it. Use simple words to join sentences. Keep each paragraph to one main idea and stay on the topic.
content
The essay aims at causes and ways to fix the problem.
structure
A plan is given with public transport and better roads.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
What to do next:
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