IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is a waste of money for countries to host big sporting events like the world cup, and that the money would be better spent on other things. However, others think that hosting large sporting events has a clear, positive impact on a coutry. Discuss both views

In the prevailing era, tremendous countries
host
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
events
Use synonyms
 every year.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is an argued issue whether the
givernment
Correct your spelling
government
 should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on other
things
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting
money
Use synonyms
 on
such
Linking Words
events
Use synonyms
 or
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
if this
show examples
 trend brings countless advantages to nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only discuss both viewpoints
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 my opinion
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
also
Linking Words
highlighted
Verb problem
be highlighted
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while
Linking Words
 concluding
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand, I believe that authorities should expend
money
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 on essential
things
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such
Linking Words
 as providing free education to children who live
under
Change preposition
below
show examples
 the poverty line, offering free healthcare to residents, and reducing crime rates. These
things
Use synonyms
 are probably out of reach of many people because of financial circumstances
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in
third world
Use the right word
third-world
show examples
 nations.
For example
Linking Words
, Uttar Pradesh is a province of India where the majority of children are deprived of basic education,
while
Linking Words
 the government invests thousands of rupees in Olympic sports almost every year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that hosting big sporting
events
Use synonyms
 has positive implications for countries. Hundreds of tourists visit
tje
Correct your spelling
the
host
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 country in order to watch live sport, and they have to spend
money
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying fundamental
things
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namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
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 food, housing, and transportation.
As a result
Linking Words
, a number of locals work in these sectors, and they earn enough for their livelihood. To illustrate, Qatar hosted the FIFA
world cup
Fix capitalization
World Cup
show examples
 in 2022, and tremendous spectators watched the live sport. Many of them came from foreign countries, and they spent almost three days there. A huge
money
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 was spent by them during that period.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 spending
money
Use synonyms
 by
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 helps to generate revenue is the main benefit for the
host
Use synonyms
 country, I contend that authorities ought to invest their fund in providing fundamental
things
Use synonyms
 to locals
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting
money
Use synonyms
 to
host
Use synonyms
 big sporting
events
Use synonyms
.

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improvement
Make your view clear in the first paragraph and restate it in the end.
improvement
Use more link words to show how ideas fit, e.g. and, but, also, however.
improvement
Each paragraph should hold one main idea with a clear first sentence (topic sentence).
improvement
Give more exact examples and explain how they show your point.
improvement
Check spelling and grammar so the lines are clear and easy to read.
strength
The essay makes a clear choice and talks about both sides.
strength
There is some use of linking words and a real example (Qatar).
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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