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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first par chart provides key information about the proportion of females and males in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning,
pet
Use synonyms
 caring and repairing the house). The units are measured in percentages. The second graph illustrates the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. The figures are measured in
minutes
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the first graph clarified that
women
Use synonyms
 were significantly more involved in cooking, cleaning, and
pet
Use synonyms
 care than
men
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 house repairs,
men
Use synonyms
 represented nearly 20%, they took a higher percentage than
women
Use synonyms
, accounting for only 9%. Females who cooked represented more than 80%,
whereas
Linking Words
 males took 60%. In the cleaning task,
women
Use synonyms
 reached more than 60%,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 hit 40%. Both genders were almost equally involved in
pet
Use synonyms
 caring, almost 20%, with
men
Use synonyms
 slightly more. In the second graph, it is noticeable that females took more than 80
minutes
Use synonyms
 to cook,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spent only 60
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 spend more time cleaning than
men
Use synonyms
. Both genders spent almost equal time in
pet
Use synonyms
 caring, almost 20
minutes
Use synonyms
. The male repairs the house in 20
minutes
Use synonyms
, but the female spends less than 10
minutes
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pet, minutes, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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