IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which cause harm to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fossil fuels
such
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 as natural gas and coal are the most commonly used elements to generate power. But
due to
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 scarcity and pollution caused by burning these substances,
people
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 started to look for alternative sources. The world has already started evolving to use other sources of
energy
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 like solar, wind, thermal and more. I believe that
energy
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 produced from solar and wind has many advantages over traditional ways.
To begin
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 with, combustion of petrol and diesel leads to
Correct article usage
the generating
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generating
Replace the word
generation
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a
Change preposition
of a
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large amount of carbon dioxide in the air that pollutes the environment. Pollution caused by burning these fuels is the major reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 global warming , which plays a significant role in
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
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 of the Ozone layer and rising of the sea level.
Moreover
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, these compounds are scarce and have limited access for the public , which makes
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 more expensive. Fossil fuels are going to vanish in some parts of the world by 2045.
According to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent studies, pollution from burning petrol and diesel motor contributes 25% percent of the total CO2 in the atmosphere. In some cities like Delhi and Beijing, diesel
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
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 are completely banned
due to
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 the bad air quality index.
On the other hand
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, renewable
energy
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 can solve most of these issues caused by natural gas.
People
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 have unlimited access to sunlight, wind and turbines , which makes more cheaper. These energies produce almost negligible amounts of harmful gases in the atmosphere.
People
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 have been using these resources for almost a decade now , and the research is still going on to make it more reliable and accessible to everybody. In the developed countries, a large number of
people
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 have already switched from combustion engines to electric
motor
Fix the agreement mistake
motors
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. Companies like Tesla and BYD have already captured a large market in the automobile sector. Electric engines demand much less repair and maintenance than the regular engines. In many nations, governments are providing big incentives for buying electric vehicles to promote eco-friendly choices. In my opinion,
alternative
Correct article usage
an alternative
show examples
 source of
energy
Use synonyms
 is a better choice for a better future.
This
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 will help to fight against global warming and to have good quality air for all human beings. But there would be more efforts needed to establish the ecosystem to run the society on renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, more charging stations for electric vehicles and low-budget solar systems for the home.

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grammar
Fix small grammar and punctuation errors. Check how words fit together in a sentence.
structure
Keep a clear plan: intro, then 2 body parts, then a short close.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas, like 'and','but','also','however','for example'.
content
Check facts and numbers. Some facts here are not right or not clear.
content
The view is clear: renew energy is better.
content
Good use of examples like Delhi/Beijing and cars by Tesla.
style
The essay is easy to read and follows a plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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