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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many
learnes
Correct your spelling
learners
 tend to think
having
Correct word choice
that having
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 an individual time for studying a particular subject might be
benefical
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beneficial
, rather than
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 learning it with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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groups of
people
Use synonyms
. In my view , both of these approaches
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
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 to be helpful depending on the case of learning. On one hand, isolated
preparing
Replace the word
preparation
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 time for the lesson could have many great outcomes. There are various types of improvements
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can make if he or she
would
Verb problem
apply
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study alone.
Firstly
Linking Words
, personal opinion. Making and concluding personal views on special tasks requires serious effort.
This
Linking Words
 contributes
postively
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positively
 to one's
self esteem
Use the right word
self-esteem
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,
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apply
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 and self-confidence.
Secondly
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, time management,
Use synonyms
Student
Correct article usage
a Student
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 who will do studies alone
,
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apply
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 will face the tasks all by himself, making him
to
Verb problem
apply
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think ahead and manage his hours appropriately.
Finally
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, being less distracted by others and giving full focus to the
matter
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matter,
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 where productivity could reach a peak, and boost
overall
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 comprehension.
On the other hand
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, working in
a solitude has
Correct word order
solitude has a
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 positive impact on the studies undoubtedly,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 in my personal view ,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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belive
Use the right word
believe
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 we, as
a
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apply
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human
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humans
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, are
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 part of
the
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apply
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society, where collaboration is necessary and
unavodiable
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unavoidable
. It is important to know and understand how to manage yourself in a community, where you can learn so many things and
brainstrorm
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brainstorm
 with
people
Use synonyms
 around you. There a several benefits from being a part of a
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 study
porcess
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process
. The main point is exploring new
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 where you would not limit yourself
with
Change preposition
to
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 your personal opinions. These beliefs of others have
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 influence on one's thinking.
Anoter
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Another
 key benefit, improving communication skills, brainstorming with others will lead
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 to carefully listen and proceed with
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 opinions,
while
Linking Words
 making
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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to
Verb problem
apply
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think of something
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 would never think alone.
Lastly
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,
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
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 and networking, these groups could contain
people
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 might find interesting and entertaining for future
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
, like hanging out, doing a sport or working on
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 project by chance. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 taking solo times for studies may be comfortable and good
on
Change preposition
for
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 productivity, I
belive
Use the right word
believe
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 it is better to be with
people
Use synonyms
 to discuss and learn something from it
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, where
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where
Correct word choice
which
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 you would never think of in solitude.

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linguistic
Improve grammar and spelling to make meaning clear; fix common errors like 'learners' and 'believe' and use standard punctuation.
structure
Make clear topic sentences for each paragraph and keep one main point in each part.
lexical
Choose precise words and avoid odd spellings that can change meaning.
content
Add more specific examples or facts to back ideas instead of very general talk.
content
The essay shows both ideas and ends with a view.
structure
Useful links like On the one hand, On the other hand, and In conclusion are used.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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