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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays are computers the basis of the worldwide. They should be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. It is undeniable that laptops has become as essential part of our life.

Nowadays,
technology
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 is ubiquitous and plays a crucial role in modern life. In
this
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 essay, I will examine the importance of
computers
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 in education and daily life, and I will provide my opinion
at the end
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. There are several perspectives on
this
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 issue, but the primary argument in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of using
technology
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 in classrooms is that it enhances the learning experience.
Computers
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 enable
students
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 to comprehend complex topics more effectively.
For example
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, incorporating videos, diagrams, and interactive software into lessons can stimulate curiosity and encourage deeper understanding of concepts.
Furthermore
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, the use of
computers
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 helps develop essential
skills
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such
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 as typing, research, and information management, which are invaluable for future academic and professional pursuits.
However
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, there are notable drawbacks to excessive reliance on laptops. One significant concern is that
students
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 may lose essential face-to-face communication
skills
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.
In addition
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, prolonged screen time can lead to eye strain and other health issues. The internet and social media can
also
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 serve as major distractions, reducing
students
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’ concentration and fostering dependency on
technology
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.
For instance
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,
students
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 who spend considerable time online may prefer virtual interactions over personal communication with peers. In conclusion,
while
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computers
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 offer considerable advantages in enhancing education and developing valuable
skills
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, they
also
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 have potential disadvantages. In my opinion, the most effective approach is to integrate
computers
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 in a balanced manner, ensuring that
students
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 can reap the benefits of
technology
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while
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 still cultivating social
skills
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 and interpersonal confidence.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear plan and a balance of view. Add more detail to ideas and tie facts to your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple connect words so flow stays steady.
task response
State a strong position in the intro or conclusion and keep it throughout.
task response
Give more specific examples to back up points about pros and cons.
coherence cohesion
Keep one main idea per paragraph and end with a clear point.
structure
Clear plan in the opening and a conclusion that states your view.
content
Balanced view with both sides shown.
cohesion
Good use of linking words to join ideas.
structure
Logical move from benefits to problems and then to a final view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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