IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show what percentage of their daily intake of various nutrients the average person in the USA consumes in each meal and in snacks. These nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The above three pie charts demonstrate the average proportion of three unhealthy nutrients, including
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
, in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 daily meals.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sodium
Use synonyms
are comprised
Wrong verb form
comprises
show examples
 the most
nutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
show examples
 in
dinner
Use synonyms
 and lunch
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
contained
Wrong verb form
contains
show examples
 the highest amount in
snacks
Use synonyms
. First of all,
sodium
Use synonyms
 arrived
43
Change preposition
at 43
show examples
%, so it
the
Verb problem
is the
show examples
 most nutrients in
dinner
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, it
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
was also
show examples
 used
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentages
14
Punctuation problem
, 14
show examples
% in breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
,but it increased to 29% in lunch.
Similarly
Linking Words
, saturated fat climbed
Change preposition
to at
show examples
at
Use the right word
a
show examples
 peak
37
Change preposition
of 37
show examples
% in
dinner
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it included 16% and 21% in
snacks
Use synonyms
 and breakfast
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
snacks
Use synonyms
 contained the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 amount of added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in 42%. It showed
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 in
dinner
Use synonyms
 at 23%.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
sodium
Use synonyms
 increased to
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 at 43% and 29% in
dinner
Use synonyms
 and lunch
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Added
sugar
Use synonyms
 was used
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
nutrient
Check wording
amount
show examples
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 substances in
snacks
Use synonyms
. In breakfast, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most common substances.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, dinner, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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