IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking in shared areas
now is
Correct word order
is now
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 banned by law in multiple countries around the world.
This
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 essay agrees with the opinion
says
Verb problem
apply
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that
such
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 a ban is reasonable. Because of the negative impacts of smoking on public health and it
considers
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is considered
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as
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apply
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a serious violation
for
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of
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 others’ freedom. Smoking around
people
Use synonyms
 has a negative impact on
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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 health.
This
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 is because they are inhaling toxic air that can damage their lungs. Not only that
but
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, but
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 children
also
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 get
effected
Use the right word
affected
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 by
this
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 bad habit
and
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, and
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 it can have a
long
Correct word choice
long-term
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 bad impact on their organs
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such
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, such
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 as the brain and eyes. Since those organs are still in a developing phase and they need a healthy environment to grow.
For instance
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, studies show that
such
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 a problem exists, and it
called
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is called
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative smoking and many
people
Use synonyms
 die because of it every year.
Furthermore
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, smoking in public is considered
as
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apply
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a violation of others’ freedom. Since it is uncomfortable to watch for many
people
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and
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, and
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 they have the right to enjoy the shared area without any distraction from smokers.
As a result
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, the main target of
this
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 ban is to make sure that everyone
is feeling
Wrong verb form
feels
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 safe and protected because
this
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 is one of the human rights.
For example
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,
Kuwaiti
Correct article usage
the Kuwaiti
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 government recently classified smoking in public places as a crime, and it is punished by law.
This
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 punishment could cause
people
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entering
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to enter
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 jail. In conclusion, many countries classify smoking in public as a crime, and it is banned
for
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in
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 most countries. I totally agree with
this
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due to
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 two reasons, first because it damages
people
Use synonyms
’s health.
Second,
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it
considered
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is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a violation
for
Change preposition
of
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 individuals’ freedom.

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task
Make your view clear in the first line and keep it in all parts.
coherence
Give 2 or 3 strong ideas and give simple proof for each. Use 'and', 'but', 'so' to link.
language
Check grammar and word use. For example, 'effected' should be 'affected'.
content
Use real or neutral examples and keep facts simple. The crime example could be wrong in some places.
structure
Make the intro and the end clear and tidy.
content
The essay shows a clear position in favor of the ban.
content
It gives two big reasons: health and freedom.
structure
It uses linking words like Furthermore and In conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • prevalence
  • respiratory issues
  • environmental pollution
  • litter
  • healthcare costs
  • smoking-induced illnesses
  • encourage smokers to quit
  • public health improvement
  • justified
  • public spaces
  • exposure
  • non-smokers
  • inconvenience
  • younger populations
What to do next:
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