IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that government should take a large proportion of people's salaries to pay for necessary public services such as roads and school. Other feel that high taxes are a bad thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about
taxes
Use synonyms
 to provide public
services
Use synonyms
.
While
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 some people argue that a significant amount of people's
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 should be taken by the
government
Use synonyms
 to provide facilities
such
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 as roads and schools, others claim that high
taxes
Use synonyms
 are detrimental. In my opinion, I believe that The
government
Use synonyms
 should identify other sources of subsidies, rather than imposing hefty tariffs on employees.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives, providing relevant examples and clear explanations to support each viewpoint. On the one hand, greater subsidies
singificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 increase living standards.
This
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 is to say that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can develop better facilities
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as free healthcare systems, sophisticated classrooms,
better
Correct word choice
and better
show examples
 transportation systems, which in turn contribute to the
overall
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 development of the community.
For instance
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 , in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
 citizens are paying high
taxes
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, which are
then
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 used to supply necessary
services
Use synonyms
 to local communities.
Therefore
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, residents are highly benefited by gaining access to all essential public
services
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, which together improve their quality of life and promote social equality.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, collecting heavy
taxes
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 from residents can impose a financial burden. Many families rely on a single income, and if a larger proportion of their wages is taken as
taxes
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, they may struggle to cover basic household expenses.
As a result
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, it causes financial burden and stress, which in turn leads to various health issues.
For example
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, in Western countries, citizens are paying 30% of their income in
taxes
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 to access public
services
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such
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 as healthcare systems, schools and roads , even though their standard of living is modest.
Hence
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, it is reasonable that the
government
Use synonyms
 should not impose high fees to offer access to better infrastructure. In conclusion,
while
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 high
taxes
Use synonyms
 can impose a financial burden on individuals, it is
also
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 the responsibility of the
government
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 to provide essential public
services
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 that benefit society as a whole.
Therefore
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, a balanced approach is necessary, where governments explore multiple funding sources and ensure that taxation is fair and proportionate. In my opinion, reasonable
taxes
Use synonyms
 are justified when they are used effectively to improve infrastructure and public welfare.

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task response
Plan a short intro that states both views and your view in one line.
coherence
Make each paragraph one main idea and use linking words to show how ideas connect.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors and spell mistakes, and use simple words.
lexical resource
Use clear examples with real facts, not too general.
task response
End with a short, clear opinion and a brief wrap up of both sides.
content
Shows an attempt to cover both sides of the issue.
structure
Clear opinion at the end.
examples
Some good use of examples to support points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion of salaries
  • necessary public services
  • infrastructure
  • redistribute wealth
  • wealth gap
  • equitable
  • discourage
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • tax evasion
  • tax avoidance
  • tax revenue
  • burdensome
  • human capital
What to do next:
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