IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer ‎activities and lifestyles in cold climates. Discuss both views, and give your ‎opinion.‎

In the past,
weather
Use synonyms
 played an important role in people’s outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
.Recently,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
preple
Correct your spelling
people
 are not
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
Change preposition
about asscocited
show examples
asscocited outdooor
Correct your spelling
associated outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
.
Fix capitalization
Meanwhile
show examples
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 every
ares
Correct your spelling
area
 has
building
Correct article usage
a building
show examples
 the gym for every
Use synonyms
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
.
Firtly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, let's look at the position things
invole
Correct your spelling
involve
 hot climate. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with
outdoor
Correct article usage
an outdoor
show examples
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
.by cutting down on the daily general. In common
when
Punctuation problem
, when
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a warm season
arriving
Wrong verb form
arrives
show examples
 the
preple
Correct your spelling
people
 are likely
go
Verb problem
to go
show examples
 to
beach
Correct article usage
the beach
show examples
 for swimming or hiking, and social gatherings can be enjoyed regularly, which promotes physical health and social interaction.On the
onther
Correct your spelling
other
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 if the
preple
Correct your spelling
people
 are spending time in outdoor
Use synonyms
activities
Punctuation problem
activities,
show examples
 they are
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grest
Correct your spelling
great
 opportunities for mental health well-being.
However
Linking Words
,
They
Fix capitalization
they
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 have
argument
Correct article usage
an argument
show examples
 with freezing
weather
Use synonyms
. for another group who are like the low temperature.
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
this
Linking Words
 grops are
like
Punctuation problem
like,
show examples
 outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
asscoited
Correct your spelling
associated
Use synonyms
Winter
Change preposition
with Winter
show examples
 sports
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as skiing and ice
skating
Punctuation problem
skating,
show examples
 are widely enjoyed, and seasonal traditions, including
winter
Use synonyms
 festivals, are celebrated in many countries.
Meanwhile
Punctuation problem
Meanwhile,
show examples
 the
winter
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
, it was
invole
Correct your spelling
involve
 the
culther
Correct your spelling
culture
 for some
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 passed through generations, create a
pressive
Correct your spelling
pressure
srongest
Check wording
and strength
show examples
 in communities and cultural identity
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
expreriences
Correct your spelling
experiences
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 valued by people who appreciate seasonal variety and cultural depth.
Inconclusion
Use the right word
In conclusion
show examples
, both
hight
Use the right word
high
show examples
 temperature and
covered
Verb problem
being covered
show examples
 with snow
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they are supporting a distinct
life style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
 and
activities
Use synonyms
 depending on the
personal
Replace the word
person
show examples
, who
are prefer
Wrong verb form
prefers
show examples
 warm
weather
Use synonyms
 for spending time with family and
activities
Use synonyms
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
freezing
Punctuation problem
, freezing
show examples
weather
Use synonyms
, who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prefer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
winter
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, structure, and rich seasonal traditions. In my opinion, cold climates are more attractive because
winter
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 and traditions provide a stronger sense of culture.

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content
Plan your essay with a clear idea before you write. Start with a short intro that says your view, then two clear parts for each side, and finish with your own view.
structure
Use simple joining words to link ideas, like first, next, also, but, however, for example.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea with one or two good examples so the reader can follow.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use short, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.
content
Try to be more exact with your views. Give a strong opinion and support it with clear points.
content
The essay shows both sides and ends with a view.
content
There are some examples for warm and cold places (beach, winter sports).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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