IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows average carbon dioxide(co2) emission per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden,Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007

The presented line chart gives information on the average release of
co2
Use the right word
CO2
show examples
 per individual in four countries (
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Sweden, Italy and Portugal) in the period
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1967
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that in 2007 Portugal and Sweden
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the same emission number of approximately 5.
However
Linking Words
, Portugal started very low in the graph, and throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 experienced a gradual increase, and a more rapid rise from 1987 until the following 10
years
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that from 1997 to 2007, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a steady rhythm held.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Sweden experienced a sharp increase in the first few
years
Use synonyms
, and the dramatic change continued
this
Linking Words
 time in
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease of roughly 5 emissions
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 as
went
Check wording
time went
show examples
 by,
gradually
Correct pronoun usage
it gradually
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 dropped more and more. The highest emission number belongs to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 country
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 experience any drastic changes, but a more
moderately
Replace the word
moderate
show examples
 reduction from 11 in 1967 to about 9 in 2007.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
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 there was a swift upsurge in the first
years
Use synonyms
, and the changes remained steady until 1987.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is observed that a mild soar happened in the next 10
years
Use synonyms
 and remained stable until 2007.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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