IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In many parts of the world, primary and secondary schools give
holidays
Use synonyms
 for two
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 more in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 season.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue the importance of long
school
Use synonyms
 breaks and
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 to support short
holidays
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. Long
holidays
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 are important as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to
rest
Use synonyms
 from
school
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 and have
many
Fix the agreement mistake
more
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for their interests and activities, meanwhile shorter
holidays
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
 beneficial since they do not forget
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
programm
Correct your spelling
program
 and there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
rest
Use synonyms
 throughout the year. One important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 extended
holidays
Use synonyms
 is that
students
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 take a break from academic learning.
As a result
Linking Words
, they reduce
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 amount of stress that they take from studies.
In addition
Linking Words
, during
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long
Use synonyms
holidays
Add a comma
holidays,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 can
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 completely
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their hobbies and activities that they cannot afford during
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 period.
For example
Linking Words
,
student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
 spent
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 new hobbies and at the same
time
Use synonyms
 he
recover
Wrong verb form
recovered
show examples
 from
school
Use synonyms
 classes.
However
Linking Words
, short
holidays
Use synonyms
 have their benefits too. During
shorter
Correct article usage
a shorter
show examples
 period of
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 do not forget academic material
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it helps to return
easier
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 routine.
Also
Linking Words
, brief breaks
spread
Verb problem
are spread
show examples
 evenly throughout the year, which helps to concentrate and maintain study habits.
For instance
Linking Words
, short
holidays
Use synonyms
 provide
students
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 with
rest
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 often and study better. In conclusion, both of them have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 advantages. Long
holidays
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 help to
rest
Use synonyms
 from
school
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 stress and devote
time
Use synonyms
 to their interests. Short
holidays
Use synonyms
 help to be in academic form and have
rest
Use synonyms
 often
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the year.

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structure
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in the body.
coherence
Use better links to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
content
Add more real reasons or examples to back up your point.
grammar
Check grammar: fix subject-verb and word form mistakes.
content
The essay tries to talk about both sides.
coherence
There are linking words like 'One important reason', 'In addition', 'However'.
structure
An introduction and conclusion are included.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
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