IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think that people who work online at home are more productive than office workers or the other way around? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

In contemporary society, COVID-19 and technology 4.0 have made life more productive as people have adopted "new norms" and prefer to do tasks from home rather than at the workplace. I concur that ,in modern times, individuals are more inclined to remote jobs that not only protect them from traffic congestion
,
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but
also
Linking Words
 impart an acute concentration level to their assignments.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one major positive
perspective
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aspect
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 of home-based tasks is that people do not need to commute regularly. Travelling
,
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 in crowded cities
,
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 to the office is often exhausting and time-consuming.
Moreover
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, working independently in flexible hours avoids fatigue as well imbalanced routine and saves many productive hours , which can be used for learning a skill.
For instance
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, The Times Press mentioned that
according to
Linking Words
 a survey, a person can save 75 hours
,
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to arrive at the office, and 30% of fuel cost (from his monthly salary).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the home environment is usually better than a corporate place. As there is no noise pollution and aimless activities that distract the person's attention. In
studio
Correct article usage
the studio
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, there is a greater chance that
officer
Correct article usage
an officer
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 has to perform more than one assignment within a specific date, but a plethora of unwanted interference and chit chat detrimentally affect their performance , which results in poor evaluations.
For example
Linking Words
, in China,a study found that managers responsible for home-based activities performed more efficiently than those who prioritised their physical presence onsite. In conclusion, in the cutting-edge era, accomplishing the goals from
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 living place is a precious comfort for the generation as it is more beneficial for saving their time span because of daily vehicle movement and
also
Linking Words
 increases their concentration level autonomously.

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planning
Plan your essay with a clear map before you write. Start with a short view, then three simple ideas in own space, and end with a short close that restates your view.
structure
Use easy link words to show how ideas are linked. Words like first, next, also, but, so can help.
language
Fix grammar and short the long line. Break long ideas into two easy lines. Use common, small words.
content
Give more strong proof or facts. If you can, show both sides or be sure your view is clear and backed by fact.
structure
Clear start and end with a main idea on home work.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas, such as To begin with and In conclusion.
content
Some specific example is used, like a survey and a China study.
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