IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proposition of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts compare the percentages
between
Change preposition
of
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 British students who can speak
languages
Use synonyms
 other than English
in
Change preposition
at
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 one University in England from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the number of students who were able to speak Spanish only and other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
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 increased throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
 French only and no other
language
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 showed a gradual decrease. Meanwhile, German only and two other
languages
Use synonyms
 remained
staple
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staples
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. In 2000, pupils who
talked
Verb problem
spoke
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Spanish only
Correct word order
only Spanish
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 ranked first at 30%,
while
Linking Words
 other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 accounted for 15%. Both proportions increased by 5%, reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35% for other
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20% for Spanish only in 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
, no other
language
Use synonyms
 stood at 20% in 2000, before falling to 10% in 2010.
Similarly
Linking Words
, French only dropped from 15% in 2000 to 10% by the final year. German only and two other
languages
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of students remained unchanged
exactly
Punctuation problem
, exactly
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 at 10% over the period. The smallest percentages among all six
languages
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words languages, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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