IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are organizing a seminar for your company. Write a letter to the manager of another department inviting them to give a presentation at the seminar. In your letter Give details of the seminar Invite them to give a presentation and say why you are inviting them Say what the presentation should be about

Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
 Smith, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to inform you that I am
organizing
Change the spelling
organising
show examples
 a
seminar
Use synonyms
 on "The Importance of
Safety
Use synonyms
 in the
workplace
Fix capitalization
Workplace
show examples
" next week and to formally invite you to deliver a presentation. The
seminar
Use synonyms
 focuses on the formation of a
safety
Use synonyms
 committee at our newly established branch. The
seminar
Use synonyms
 will be held on December 30, from 9.00 am to 5.00 pm, at
60N
Correct article usage
the 60N
show examples
 Boardroom. I
particularly
Verb problem
have particularly
show examples
 chosen you
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, as you are the Head of the
Safety
Use synonyms
 Department at our head office, and possess extensive knowledge in
this
Linking Words
 field. I kindly request that you explain, in detail, how to maintain a safe working environment for our employees. You may begin your presentation by sharing your professional experience, followed by slides outlining key
safety
Use synonyms
 rules and
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, so that everyone can understand the information in a simple and clear manner. I hope you will accept my invitation to the
seminar
Use synonyms
. Yours sincerely, Sukriti

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are small grammar mistakes. Say 'I have chosen you' instead of 'I particularly chosen you only'. Remove 'only'.
structure
Make a new paragraph for each group of ideas. Use one main idea per paragraph.
tone
Make the tone more formal. Use 'I am writing to invite you' and keep a formal style throughout.
content
Give a clear date. 'Next week' can be unclear; add the year and clear date.
content
Say how long the talk will be and how it will run, like slides or a talk and a Q&A.
format
The letter starts with a polite greeting.
content
It states the topic of the seminar and the role of the guest clearly.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: