IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie chart
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 information about doing hobbies,
achivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 at work,financial security,being with family,other factors,…the thing makes
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 under 30 and
over 30
Use the right word
over-30
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 groups most happy in our life.
Overall
Linking Words
,look at the chart,the percentage of
archivement
Correct your spelling
achievement
 at work is
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
30%.It
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
Correct article usage
the in
show examples
in peak
Correct word order
peak in
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both 2
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
other
Fix capitalization
Other
show examples
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hit the lowest point in 2
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 look at
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 under 30
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 percentage of a part is
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 travelling.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 percentage of travelling
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
 for 15% in under 30
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 and 14% in over 30
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Punctuation problem
group,
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
.
Linking Words
while
Fix capitalization
While
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 like having a good appearance
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 18%,older
people
Use synonyms
 focus on financial security
Punctuation problem
, account
show examples
account
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
 for 20%.
Achivement
Correct your spelling
Achievement
 at work is the thing
people
Use synonyms
 of all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 like most,it hit the highest point
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both 2
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.Other factors hit the lowest point of all
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 more than older about 14% same
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 travelling.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • age groups
  • responses
  • happiness factors
  • participants
  • contribute
  • compare
  • patterns
  • differences
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