IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph illustrates key
informatiom
Correct your spelling
information
 about the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan between 1993 and 2007. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that Japan
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest unemployment rates in most of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
exipt
Change preposition
except for
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
 between 2001 and 2005,
while
Linking Words
 the highest unemployment rates in most of
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Change preposition
in
show examples
the rest of Europe
Punctuation problem
, exipt
show examples
exipt
Correct word choice
except for
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 years
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
1993 and 1994. Looking at the details, we can notice that the rest of Europe was gradually increasing from 1993 to 1997 at 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and approximately 11.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively,
then
Linking Words
 it
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 gradually from 1997 to 2003 at almost 8.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2003, after that it remained steady until 2005,
finally
Linking Words
, it
was
Verb problem
fell
show examples
 slightly a fall until the
last
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
 at nearly 7.5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In terms of the United Kingdom,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 was
sharply
Rephrase
apply
show examples
a
decline
Correct word choice
sharp decline
show examples
 from 1993 to 2001 at 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively,
then
Linking Words
 it remained steady until 2005, and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period
Use synonyms
, it grew at 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: