Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Consuming excessive amounts of
sugar
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is injurious to our
health
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. Many
people
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think it is the
government
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's responsibility to limit the
consumption
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of
sugar
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,
while
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others argue that individuals should control their own intake. In my opinion,
although
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personal responsibility is important.
the
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The
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government
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also
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plays a crucial role in protecting the public by regulating the
sugar
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content of food and ensuring accurate information is provided to consumers. On the one hand, it is argued that the
government
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should take responsibility for limiting
sugar
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consumption
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.
This
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is because excessive
sugar
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intake leads to serious
health
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problems
such
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as obesity and diabetes, which place a heavy burden on
public
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the public
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health
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system.
For example
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, many countries have introduced
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sugar
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a sugar
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tax on soft drinks to reduce
the
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apply
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consumption
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and encourage healthier options.
As a result
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,
government
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intervention can help protect public
health
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on a large scale.
On the other hand
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, it is argued that individuals should control their own
sugar
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intake.
This
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is because
people
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are free to choose what they eat and are aware of the
health
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risks associated with excessive
sugar
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consumption
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.
For example
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, many
people
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now read nutritional labels and avoid
sugar
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products like soft drinks and energy bars to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that self-control plays an important role in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
People
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have the freedom to choose what they eat
but
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, but
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they should
also
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consider the measures taken by the
government
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to protect the public.

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grammar
Fix grammar in the intro: do not have a sentence that starts with 'although...'. Make it: 'In my opinion, personal responsibility is important, but the government also plays a key role.'
coherence
Begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells what the paragraph will tell. This helps the reader follow your view.
lexical
Try to use only simple words. Some words in your essay are too hard. Replace them with easier ones.
content
Add one or two more clear examples for each side, with brief facts or numbers if possible. This makes your argument stronger.
structure
You give both sides and you share your own view.
content
You mention sugar tax as a real example.
structure
You finish with a brief conclusion that shows your own view.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmful
  • government intervention
  • policies and regulations
  • public health
  • individual responsibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • freedom of choice
  • balanced approach
  • food industry
  • sugar content
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • health problems
  • taxation
  • advertising restrictions
  • labeling requirements
  • reading food labels
  • natural sweeteners
  • cooking at home
  • moderation
  • balanced diets
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