IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching student to judge right and wrong and to behave well. Some say that teacher should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that developing moral intelligence is one of the
teachers
Use synonyms
' duties,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that
teachers
Use synonyms
 are only responsible for academic subjects.
This
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 essay
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
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 that teaching emotional intelligence should be a part of 
teachers
Use synonyms
' responsibility, especially
due to
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teachers
Use synonyms
' being a role model at
school
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 and the importance of having a good morality aside from academic excellence.
Firstly
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,
teachers
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 are the role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
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 of their pupils, as they act as the
students
Use synonyms
' second parents in
school
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.
Moreover
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, a lot of social exchanges inevitably happen at
school
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
teachers
Use synonyms
 are expected to lead the pupils
of
Change preposition
in
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 what is right and wrong.
For instance
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, when bullying
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
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 among
students
Use synonyms
,
teachers
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 need to stand up for the victim and justly punish the culprits to show that bullying is not the right thing to do.
As a result
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, despite not
written
Verb problem
being written
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 in the syllabus, moral lessons naturally occur at
school
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and
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, and
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 it is the
teachers
Use synonyms
' duty to lead by example. Other than that, academic ability is not the only thing the
students
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 need to thrive. If
students
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 are academically gifted without good behaviour and social
judgement
Use the right word
judgment
show examples
, they will struggle to be accepted in
the society and
Correct word order
society and the
show examples
 workplace.
Thus
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, it is crucial for
teachers
Use synonyms
 to balance between textbooks and social learning, which are
inseperabale
Correct your spelling
inseparable
 and
complemented
Wrong verb form
complement
show examples
 each other. In conclusion,
teachers
Use synonyms
'
duty
Fix the agreement mistake
duties
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 are not only restricted to academic subjects, but
also
Linking Words
 to improve social
judgements
Use the right word
judgments
show examples
 of their pupils.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is the
Use synonyms
teachers
Check wording
teacher's
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 duty as the
students
Use synonyms
' role model to teach both in
parallel
Punctuation problem
parallel,
show examples
 as it is crucial to prepare young people to thrive in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first part and say what you think about both sides.
coherence
Use one idea per paragraph and begin with a clear topic sentence.
accuracy
Check grammar and spelling to fix mistakes like 'inseperabale' and 'duty'.
content
Add more real examples and explain how moral teaching helps in life.
language
Keep sentences short and use simple words from common English.
content
The essay shows a clear view with some good points.
analysis
There are examples like bullying to show the point.
organization
Links between ideas are used to move from one point to the other.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral values
  • ethics
  • character development
  • academic knowledge
  • teaching methodologies
  • curriculum
  • critical thinking
  • intellectual growth
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • behavioral issues
  • conflict resolution
What to do next:
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