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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph illustrates key information about the total number of minutes of
Australia
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Australian
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 telephone calls, by three
category
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categories
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 (Local - National and International - Mobiles) between 2001 and 2008. The units are measured in
billions
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the highest category of
Australia
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Australian
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 telephone calls was local,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest category was
mobiles
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mobile
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 in all
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period
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periods
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. Looking at the details, we can notice that the total number of minutes of local was gradually increasing from 2001 to 2005 at 72
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billions
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billion
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, 78
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billions
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billion
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, 85
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billions
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billion
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, 89
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billions
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billion
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, and 90
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billions
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billion
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, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 in the other
period
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, it was gradually a fall at 84
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billions
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billion
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, 79
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billions
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billion
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, and 72
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billions
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billion
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, respectively. In terms of national and international, the total number of minutes
was
Verb problem
apply
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gradually
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rise
Replace the word
rose
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 in all
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period
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periods
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starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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 at 38
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billions
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billion
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 and ending at 61
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billions
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billion
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. In terms of mobiles, it boomed gradually in all
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period
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periods
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starting
Punctuation problem
, starting
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 at 2
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billions
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billion
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 and ending at 46
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billions
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billion
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words billions, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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