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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purpose in six areas of the world.

The pie charts provide key information about the percentage of water used for different
Use synonyms
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 in six different
areas
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. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
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, it is clear from the graph that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agricultural
use
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 is the highest
purpose
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 of water used in most countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, the highest
purpose
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 in South
America
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 is agricultural
use
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 in North
America
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is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 industrial
use
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.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, agricultural
use
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 is the highest
purpose
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 in four
areas
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, which are Africa, Central
Asia
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, South East
Asia
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 and South
America
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, at 84%, 88%, 81% and 71% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest agricultural
use
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 is at 88% in Central
Asia
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,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
use
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 is at 32% in Europe. In terms of domestic
use
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 and industrial
use
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, the industrial
use
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 is the highest
use
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 in two
areas
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, which are Europe and North
America
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at
Punctuation problem
, at
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 53% and
at
Change preposition
apply
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48% respectively. The domestic
use
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 is the lowest
use
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 in three
areas
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, which are Europe, North
America
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 and
South East
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Southeast
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Asia
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, at 15%, 13% and 7% respectively.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words purpose, areas, use, america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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