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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and works goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, digital technology has transformed every aspect of our existence.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 some
population
Check wording
people
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 some concerns, I firmly believe that
internet
Use synonyms
 access is a powerful resource
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in order to achieve personal goals and knowledge.
While
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 some people fear that we are becoming too dependent on screens, the practical benefits for education and career growth are undeniable. First of all, the
internet
Use synonyms
 provides people with unprecedented opportunities to learn.
This
Linking Words
 is because it opens new doors by attending online courses and accessing information that was previously hard to find.
For instance
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, someone living in a small town can now take classes from top universities abroad.
This
Linking Words
 accessibility allows individuals to improve their skills and gain qualifications that can lead to better job prospects in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 has changed the traditional way of working by offering more freedom. It allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 manage your own schedule alongside your work duties and enables people to perform their tasks from any location.
This
Linking Words
 is especially helpful for those who want to balance their professional life with family responsibilities. By using online tools, employees can stay productive without the need for a long daily commute to an office. In summary, the digital revolution has brought many positive changes to society. Ultimately, obtaining knowledge from the points mentioned above is essential
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 in order to accomplish educational achievements and personal needs. As we move forward, the ability to use the
internet
Use synonyms
 effectively will remain a key factor in achieving personal and professional success.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it clear throughout the essay.
organization
Make each paragraph hold one main idea and end with a short sum up.
coherence
Use linking words to tie ideas. Check that ideas flow from one to another.
examples
Give one or two simple, real examples to back your point.
language
Use plain words. Check big errors and make the sense easy to read.
task response
You show a clear view that the internet helps learning and work.
coherence
The ideas move well from learning to work.
content
There are examples to show how the internet can help.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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