IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You are going on a month training programme to the UK and know that the head of the course would like one of the participants to be the social events’ organiser. Write a letter to the Training Organiser •expressing your interest in the role •requesting more information about it •explaining what experience you have

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my interest in social events
organiser
Use synonyms
 for the upcoming training programme in the UK. I am interested
to be
Change preposition
in being
show examples
 the
organiser
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 gives me
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to
contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
 effectively in the community.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
My
Fix capitalization
my
show examples
 communication
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and my
leading
Replace the word
leadership
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 are great.
However
Linking Words
, I would like to ask
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 questions
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the
organiser
Use synonyms
 duties.
In addition
Linking Words
, is there any financial benefit
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I am worried
if
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the social event
organiser
Use synonyms
 might effect
negatively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
on the training programme. I have experience
to work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 as
leader
Correct article usage
a leader
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
organiser
Correct article usage
an organiser
show examples
. I have worked as
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
organiser
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 programme,
as a result
Linking Words
, the manager gave me a prize
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 He mentioned I organised the event
perfetely
Correct your spelling
perfectly
. I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Yours
faithully
Correct your spelling
faithfully
, Kim

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structure
Make each paragraph only have one main idea. Start with a line that says you want the job, then add a short bit about what you know or can do. End with a clear question or request.
grammar
Fix basic errors in grammar and word form. Use short, clear sentences. Change 'I am interested to be the organiser that gives me opportunity to contributing effectively in the community' to 'I would like to be the social events organiser for the course. I feel I can help the group and the events go well.'
content
Be clear about your experience. Name the last role and what you did. Use a simple, true fact and a short result if you can.
tone
The letter shows a polite tone and a clear wish to help.
content
You mention you have led and organised before, which fits the role.
content
You ask for more details about duties, which shows you want to know more.
The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expressing interest
  • enthusiastic
  • responsibilities
  • expectations
  • relevant experience
  • suitability
  • organise
  • co-ordinate
  • engage
  • social activities
  • detailed information
  • demonstrate proficiency
  • prior experience
  • effective communication
  • successful events
  • team collaboration
What to do next:
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