IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People drink more and more sugar-based drinks. What is the reason why more and more people consume suger-based drinks? How to reduce the consumption of sugar-based drinks?

Individuals are used to drinking lots of
drinks
Use synonyms
 that contain
sugar
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to discuss the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 trend
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and how to decrease the consumption of
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
. The primary reason why
people
Use synonyms
 consume more and more of
drinking
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
 that contain
sugar
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is that most companies put it in their products. Most of
Use synonyms
drinks
Correct article usage
the drinks
show examples
 in the supermarkets contain a huge amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
. Some individuals might think that the juices in the supermarkets are
sugar
Use synonyms
-free,
while
Linking Words
 they are not. The fact that most
people
Use synonyms
 drink without reading the information
that is
Linking Words
 written
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the bottle
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is making them consume more and more
sugar
Use synonyms
 without knowing about it. A recent study showed that 75 per cent of
people
Use synonyms
 do not read the nutritional value of their
drinks
Use synonyms
 before drinking them. To reduce the consumption of these
drinks
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 must know
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
drinks
Use synonyms
 contain
sugar
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, everyone must read the amount of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in before drinking.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, companies must use natural
sugar
Use synonyms
 in their
drinks
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 would absolutely reduce the consumption of
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and provide a healthier lifestyle for the public. In conclusion, the primary reason why individuals consume lots of
sugar
Use synonyms
-based
drinks
Use synonyms
 is that they do not actually know what their
drinks
Use synonyms
 contain. To decrease
this
Linking Words
 trend,
people
Use synonyms
 must read the nutritional value of their
drinks
Use synonyms
 before drinking them.

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coherence
Make one clear idea in each paragraph and connect them with simple links.
grammar
Fix grammar and use short, clear sentences.
content
Add more real examples or data about sugar drinks.
strength
The essay opens by naming the topic.
strength
It ends with a conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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