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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of the ability of British
students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 one university in England to
speak
Verb problem
can speak
show examples
 foreign languages, aside from English
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that
spanish
Fix capitalization
Spanish
show examples
 remained the highest in both years,
whereas
Linking Words
 the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 who speak German only and two other languages
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stagnated and remained the lowest.
Initially
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who
solely
Verb problem
spoke solely
show examples
speak
Verb problem
apply
show examples
English
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accounted for 20%, before markedly shrinking to 10% in 2010.
Similar
Correct article usage
A similar
show examples
 trend was
also
Linking Words
 visible for
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak French,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
were
Verb problem
faced
show examples
 facing moderate decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5% between 2000 and 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 with
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to speak another language experienced a decent growth from 15% to 20% throughout the observed years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the population of
students
Use synonyms
 who can
additionally
Linking Words
 speak German and those who can speak two other languages remained unchanged at 10% in both 2000 and 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
spanish-speaking
Fix capitalization
Spanish-speaking
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 was slightly growing by 5%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • additional languages
  • proficiency
  • decade
  • trends in language learning
  • globalization
  • cultural shifts
  • inferred
  • shifted
  • popularity
  • decrease/increase in speakers
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