IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets and malls rather than small shops and local groceries. Is this positive or negative?

In recent years, an increasing number of people choose to purchase things in
supermarkets
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 and shopping
malls
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 rather than visiting small
shops
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 and local grocery stores.
While
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this
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 trend does create certain challenges for local businesses, I believe that its
overall
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 impact on society is positive because it improves convenience and efficiency for consumers. The major advantage of
supermarkets
Use synonyms
 and shopping
malls
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 is the high level of convenience they offer. These large retailers provide a wide variety of products in one location, allowing
customers
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 to purchase groceries, household items, and daily necessities in a single trip.
This
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 significantly saves time and effort, especially for people with busy lifestyles.
In addition
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, large retailers often benefit from economies of scale, which
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
show examples
 them to offer lower prices and frequent promotions.
As a result
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, consumers can enjoy better value for money, making everyday shopping more affordable. Admittedly, the growing popularity of
supermarkets
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 and
malls
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 can negatively affect small local
shops
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, many of which struggle to compete with large chains. Local businesses may lose
customers
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 and, in some cases, be forced to close down.
However
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,
this
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 challenge can
also
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 encourage small
shops
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 to adapt and redefine their role in the market. Many local
shops
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 focus on providing
personalized
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personalised
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 services, fresh local products, and
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 goods that are not easily found in large
supermarkets
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. By offering unique value and building stronger relationships with
customers
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, small
shops
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 can remain competitive and even thrive alongside large retailers. In conclusion,
although
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 the shift toward
supermarkets
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 and shopping
malls
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 presents difficulties for small local businesses, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Greater convenience, lower prices, and improved efficiency for
customers
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 make
this
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 trend largely positive, especially as local
shops
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 adjust to changing consumer demands.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in mind as you write.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to back each point. This makes the argument stronger.
lexical
Some words may seem hard for simple use. Try to use plain words where you can.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that shows the main idea.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to show order and contrast, such as also, but, therefore.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and no extra points.
strength
Clear view that the trend is largely good, with real reasons.
strength
Good plan of writing with an introduction, body, and conclusion
strength
Reasoning ties well to the idea of saving time and money
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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