Some people believe that children should be taught how to manage money at school, while others think this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been considerable debate about
children
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's
money
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management
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, which has divided public opinion into two main groups. One group of people believes that school teachers should be responsible for
taught
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teaching
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children
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how to manage
with
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apply
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finances,
whereas
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the other group claims that responsibility should fall on
parents
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.
This
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essay will discuss and examine both views
,
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apply
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before presenting my personal opinion.
According to
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the first group of supporters, schools can provide
structural
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structured
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educational
lessons
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, through which
children
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can learn step by step
,
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apply
show examples
how to manage
with
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apply
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money
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. In
this
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way,
children
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could be equivalent learned to basic financial knowledge, saving
money
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, spending
money
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, investments and etc.
On the other hand
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, the opponents claim that
children
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should learn financial
management
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at home with their
parents
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. Observing through daily activities, earning and spending
money
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,
such
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as buying groceries, paying bills, vehicle and home
maintaining
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maintenance
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,
children
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can learn from real daily expenses.
Parents
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should be dedicated to
taught
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teaching
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their
children
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on
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apply
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valuable habits regarding saving and spending
money
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. In my opinion,
although
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school's
money
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management
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lessons
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are essential and useful, the key role plays
children
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's
parents
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.
Parents
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are more influential in
children
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's education, and they can present
most
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the most
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valuable and fundamental
lessons
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to their
children
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. In conclusion, both perspectives presented valid arguments.
Combination
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A combination
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of both approaches could potentially lead to
perfect
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a perfect
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mixture for
children
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's
money
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management
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lessons
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.

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grammar
Keep your idea one by one in each line and use short, clear sentences.
content
Make your view clear at the start or end of the intro and in the end part, and add one reason.
content
Give one or two simple examples from life to show your point.
grammar
Fix form of the verbs like teach, taught and use 'money' not 'finances'.
coherence
Use very clear link words like also, but, so, for example to join ideas.
task
Two sides are shown and a final view is given.
structure
Intro and end are in place and the essay uses basic link words.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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