IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that working from home should become the main way of working in the future. Others believe that people should continue working in offices and workplaces. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been considerable discussion about whether working from home will become
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of working in future, which has divided people into two main groups. One
group
Use synonyms
 of people believes that remote
work
Use synonyms
 will become
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 leader compared to traditional
office based
Use the right word
office-based
show examples
work
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the second
group
Use synonyms
 claims that on-site
work
Use synonyms
 has its own advantages that cannot be neglected.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss and examine both views
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 before presenting my personal opinion. The first
group
Use synonyms
 says that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 advantages of remote
work
Use synonyms
 are avoiding stress
while
Linking Words
everyday
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
commuting, and at the same time saving precious time and money. In that
Use synonyms
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 employees can spend more valuable time
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 families.
In addition
Linking Words
, they claim that individuals enjoy more flexibility in working, which contributes to the
overall
Linking Words
 mood and state of mind.
For instance
Linking Words
, a relaxed individual is more concentrated and productive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, employers reported that in that
way
Use synonyms
 of working, they are
also
Linking Words
 saving money
avoiding
Change preposition
by avoiding
show examples
 rental and utilities fees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the second
group
Use synonyms
 claims that
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 office
work
Use synonyms
 cannot be neglected because of its privileges. Traditional face-to-face interaction
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 contributes to teamwork development and company productivity
overall
Linking Words
. They
also
Linking Words
 mention that in that
Use synonyms
way
Punctuation problem
way,
show examples
 communication between colleagues cannot be interrupted or lost, which can occur
while
Linking Words
 working from home. In conclusion, both perspectives show valid arguments. In my opinion, remote
work
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than drawbacks compared to on-site
work
Use synonyms
. If new technological methods are introduced, methods like sophisticated communication platforms, working from home can outweigh traditional office-based
work
Use synonyms
.

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task
Task response: The essay starts by giving both views, but it does not go deep on either point. Add a clear stand and give one or two real examples to show how home work can work in real life.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Add simple linking words like also, but, however, for example, and make sure each paragraph has one main idea.
content
The writer tries to show both sides and ends with a personal view.
structure
There is a basic lay out with intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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