IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the global
sales
Use synonyms
 of hybrid
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 , the US and other countries throughout in 4 years . On the whole, it can be clearly seen that global hybrid vehicle
sales
Use synonyms
 increased significantly over the period .
US
Correct article usage
The US
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 was the leading market in all 3 years
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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Japan
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest
sales
Use synonyms
 figures in 2009. In 2006, total
sales
Use synonyms
 were about 360.000
vehicles
Use synonyms
 .
US
Correct article usage
The US
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 accounted for the largest share
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, with approximately 250.000
sales
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Furthermore
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furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
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 other countries and
Japan
Use synonyms
 sold 50.000 hybrid
vehicles
Use synonyms
 . In 2007,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and other countries
a
Verb problem
saw a
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few
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
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 US sold
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 hybrid
vehicles
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
average
Correct article usage
an average
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350.000
Change preposition
of 350.000
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, ıt was the highest figure on the bar chart. In 2008, US
sales
Use synonyms
 declined slightly,
whereas
Linking Words
 figures for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 and other regions continued to grow gradually. By 2009 ,total
sales
Use synonyms
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
740.000
vehicles
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 experienced
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 , reaching nearly 280.000
sales
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 remained the top seller with just over 300.000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, vehicles, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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