IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world, Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Some
people
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 argue that English will become the only
language
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 in the
world
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due to
Linking Words
 the
development
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 of international
travel
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.
While
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 using
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 globally may make it more convenient and effective to communicate internationally, it will lead to the extinction of
culture
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, speaking
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 can make global intercourse more effective and improve
tourism
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. Because
people
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 all over the
world
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 speak English, the cost of multinational communication will be reduced, which makes it much easier for tourists to obtain information, ask for directions and seek help, as translation and misunderstanding will be significantly reduced.
According to
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 an investigation conducted in Shanghai, 60% of the
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
dislike travelling abroad because of
language
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 barriers.
As a result
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, when the fluency of communicating abroad
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 enhanced, there will be an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international
travel
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, which in turn will improve the
development
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 of
tourism
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 and
relative
Correct word choice
related
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economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
On the other hand
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,
language
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 homogenisation will impose
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
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 influence on the
world
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. If only one
language
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 is spoken in the
world
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, local
language
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 and
culture
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 will be lost, meaning vocabularies and
expression
Fix the agreement mistake
expressions
show examples
 which are difficult to
be translated
Wrong verb form
translate
show examples
 will
extinct
Verb problem
become extinct
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, different countries’
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 will be homogenised
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
 will be reduced.
This
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, in turn, decreases tourists’ feeling of freshness and desire for exploration, suggesting a reduction in
travel
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 appeal. In
this
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 sense,
language
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 loss will deter
tourism
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development
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 in the long term and make a profound impact on global economic and
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culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
.
Check wording
development.
show examples
 In conclusion,
while
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 improving international communication and encouraging
people
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Use synonyms
travel
Verb problem
to travel
show examples
 are clear benefits of solo
language
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, these advantages are
also
Linking Words
 obvious, which will
tourism
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development
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 in the long term.

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grammar
Fix grammar and sentence errors, e.g., 'solo language' should be 'single language'; 'the only language to be spoken globally' can be clearer as 'the only language spoken worldwide'; 'which will tourism development' is not correct English.
structure
Add a clear opening statement (thesis) in the intro and restate it in the conclusion to guide the reader.
content
Provide stronger, more relevant examples and data to back points about tourism, culture, and language loss.
cohesion
Use linking words consistently to connect ideas, and keep a steady flow between paragraphs.
content
You try to cover both sides and show awareness of different effects.
structure
There is a clear conclusion that wraps the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prominent
  • Contribute
  • Global
  • Advantages
  • Disadvantages
  • Communication
  • Understanding
  • Ease
  • Business
  • Trade
  • Cultural exchange
  • Unity
  • Access
  • Information
  • Simplify
  • Travel
  • Tourism
What to do next:
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