IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people think that school and government should take responsibility to transport children to school. While some people think that parents should get children to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, the issue of transporting
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 has sparked great debates. On one hand, some people believe that it
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 be the government the one that should take the
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for
this
Linking Words
 service.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue that each family should take their
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both perceptions before presenting my own view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it must be said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural regions, where the distances to
school
Use synonyms
 are considerable for some
families
Use synonyms
, the
school
Use synonyms
 support is highly necessary.
This
Linking Words
 way
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
low- income
Use the right word
low-income
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 will be able to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 that the
children
Use synonyms
 are taken to
school
Use synonyms
 each day, sparing the expenses with fuel or
maintanance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 costs for the car.
This
Linking Words
 supports social inclusion, giving the chance to each child to study.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 organised transport gives parents the chance to respect the commitments taken for work,
such
Linking Words
 as
beeing
Correct your spelling
being
 at the job
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 time.
However
Linking Words
, some
families
Use synonyms
 value the shared schedule as a way to foster communication and
strenght
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 the relationships between its members. More than that, there are parents
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 feel more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 taking their
children
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
, considering that the young ones are
more safe
Correct word choice
safer
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way. I believe that
while
Linking Words
 keeping the government-provided transport to
school
Use synonyms
, the option of
families
Use synonyms
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 transport
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 still remain available.

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task
Task response: you cover both sides and give your own view. To reach a higher score, add a clear final conclusion that restates the main point.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: use topic sentences to start each paragraph. Some long sentences can make meaning hard. Use simple linking words like 'also', 'but', and 'and'.
grammar
Grammar and spelling: fix easy misspellings like 'shoul', 'responsability', 'maintanance', 'strenght', 'beeing' and check subject-verb and word form.
structure
Clear plan in the intro that says what will be discussed.
content
Shows balance by presenting both sides and then gives an own view.
content
Some good ideas on how transport can help families with work and inclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school
  • government
  • parents
  • children
  • transport
  • bus
  • walk
  • cycle
  • car
  • route
  • distance
  • safety
  • cost
  • money
  • support
  • equal
  • need
  • plan
  • policy
  • program
  • option
  • independence
  • attendance
  • access
  • safety
What to do next:
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