IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. What is your opinion about this?

In most
countries
Add a comma
countries,
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 workers
are
Verb problem
apply
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usually
retireing
Correct your spelling
retire
 at the age of 60, plus or minus, and
this
Linking Words
 is mainly
due to
Linking Words
 countries
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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companies don't have older
employees
Punctuation problem
employees,
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that
Correct word choice
as
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 their performance may decrease
due to
Linking Words
 age,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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which
therefore
Linking Words
 may lead to impact the
overall
Linking Words
 performance of the company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that workers should be working as long as they want to. and their opinion arrives from the point of providing the choice to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 to decide their destiny,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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this
Linking Words
 opinion is taking not into
considration
Correct your spelling
consideration
 the company and end-user impact and only considering the
individuals
Check wording
individual's
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 side. In my personal
opinin
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I do agree that workers should have a limit for their working
expereince
Correct your spelling
experience
, since I'm thinking it from
company
Correct article usage
a company
show examples
 point of view,
also
Linking Words
 from the individuals
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 is very important to focus on the
overall
Linking Words
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
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, which can consist of family, health, and
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
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 another part to consider
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the community part, which I believe putting an age limit
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 working
excperince
Correct your spelling
experience
 could provide more
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to the new generation to replace the
old's
Check wording
old
show examples
 generation's jobs, which
consequently
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to a good impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the community.

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improvement
Plan your answer before you write. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then give 2-3 clear reasons with simple examples. End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
tip
Improve linking. Use simple words to connect ideas, and use first, next, also, but, however, for example to move from one idea to the next.
correction
Check spelling and grammar, especially common errors like retiring, opportunity, generation, and calm wording.
content
Has a clear view that there should be a limit; mentions wellbeing and community.
content
Shows some balance by discussing both sides of the idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • social security
  • life expectancy
  • mental and physical well-being
  • active and engaged
  • mentorship
  • knowledge transfer
  • job opportunities
  • workforce
  • physical strength
  • workplace safety
  • healthcare costs
  • accommodation
  • financial strain
What to do next:
Look at other essays: