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Writing Samples
Band 7

The provided bar charts illustrate the percentage of males and females getting married across different age groups in 1998 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts give information about the proportion of men and women getting married across different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that the most popular
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to marry was 25-29,
while
Linking Words
 the least common
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 to build a family was 20-24.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people getting married increased steadily over the given period. As the chart shows, 1% of
females
Use synonyms
 got married in 1998 and 2008. In the case of the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 20-24 aged males and
females
Use synonyms
 getting married was around 2% and 5% in 1998, after which
this
Linking Words
 figure grew slowly to 5% and 7% in 2008, respectively. Regarding the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
females
Use synonyms
 who had a family in the 25-29
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 increased from 10% to 12%,
while
Linking Words
 7% men got married in their 25-29th in 1998 and 2008. After the
age
Use synonyms
 of 30, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of men getting married was higher than women. In terms of the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 30-34 aged males and
females
Use synonyms
 starting
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
 was 7% and 5% in 1998, which was followed by a significant
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 to 11% and 8% in 2008, in that order. When it comes to the proportion of
females
Use synonyms
 and males entered into marriage in the 35-39
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was 4% and 7% in 1998. By 2008, the figures increased to 5% and 9%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, percentage, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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