IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed，rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case？What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed？Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The trend to become self-employed,
instead
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 of working for any organisation, is growing nowadays.
This
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 essay will
explores
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
 the reason for
this
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 trend and highlight the disadvantages that it brings. The reason why
self-employed
Replace the word
self-employment
show examples
 has become
such
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 an option is because of the working
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 in organisations. First of all , graduates are concerned about how their employers treat them if they are to work in the company.To elaborate, some employers treat their employees very poorly by only giving instructions and showing no concern for their well-being and mental state.
This
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 creates a toxic environment where workers can not do their best.
As a result
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, both the company and workers have to face some consequences
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as financial loss and health issues like depression .
For example
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, As recent study reveals that more than 60% of staff quit their job
due to
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 the toxic behaviour of owners. Moving forward, there are a plethora of disadvantages associated with being self-employed, and one of the major ones is a compromise in quality. To explain, many individuals start their own businesses without having proper knowledge of business operations or management.
As a result
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, they tend to focus solely on profits and numbers, neglecting product or service quality, which can sometimes lead to serious consequences.
For instance
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, in 2019, a tragic incident occurred during an adventure activity when a nylon rope snapped mid-air, resulting in the death of two participants. Upon investigation, it was revealed that the rope was manufactured by a newly established business that had used low-quality materials to cut costs.
To conclude
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,
although
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 working without any interruptions is easy but it is hazardous in many ways.
Apart from
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this
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, a single person can't take care of all departments,
such
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 as maintenance, quality check, production, and so on.
Hence
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, working with a company is the best option not only for businesses but
also
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 for customers.

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structure
Make your plan in mind and use it as you write. Put one main idea in each paragraph and link ideas with basic words like and, but, so.
grammar
Check your grammar and spelling. Use simple forms and fix common errors like missing plurals or wrong words (for example enviroment -> environment).
content
The essay has a real view of why people may choose self-employment.
structure
There is a plan with three parts: intro, body and conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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