IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that holidays should be used only for relaxation, while others think they should be used for learning new skills or experiences. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
holidays
Use synonyms
 should be used only for relaxation,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be used for learning new
skills
Use synonyms
 and
experiences
Use synonyms
.
Holidays
Use synonyms
 can be used for relaxation, though
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 be a new experience for us to learn new
skills
Use synonyms
. On one hand,
people
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 who have long
work
Use synonyms
 days would want their
holiday
Use synonyms
 to be meant for relaxation and dedicate their
holiday
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 to unwind themselves
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
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 being free from
work
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.
People
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 are usually already productive enough before the
holiday
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 and avoid learning new
skills
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 and
experiences
Use synonyms
. They are convinced that having a good getaway before going back to the real world is a good option. Having to learn new
skills
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 and getting new
experiences
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 might be a burden to them
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 when they have all of that workload before.
Though
Change preposition
On
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
holidays
Use synonyms
 can be a new experience
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 learning new
skills
Use synonyms
. A
holiday
Use synonyms
 is a
time
Use synonyms
 where you do not have anything mandatory to do except for house chores, learning new
skills
Use synonyms
 and having new
experiences
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 can have their own advantages
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they might even help you when you go back to
work
Use synonyms
. Sometimes, we can not limit ourselves
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
leaning
Use the right word
learning
show examples
outside
Rephrase
only
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the classroom and
Change preposition
in the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 formal way
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 we can learn by ourselves or just by talking to other
people
Use synonyms
 outside. It can introduce us to new ways of navigating life. In my opinion, the
holiday
Use synonyms
 season is the
time
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 we have the opportunity to learn new things we have not
got to do
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
 before,
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 cooking and sewing. Those
skills
Use synonyms
 can be useful for our daily lives
yet
Punctuation problem
, yet
show examples
 sometimes we just do not have the
time
Use synonyms
 for
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 on
work
Use synonyms
 days. But I
also
Linking Words
 think that
holidays
Use synonyms
 can be used for relaxing and releasing all of the stress buildup.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it goes back to each individual whether they want to use their
time
Use synonyms
 for relaxing or to learn new
skills
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Add a clear introduction that states the topic and your view.
content
Make one main idea in each paragraph and back it with simple examples.
language
Work on grammar and word choice so sentences are easier to read.
coherence
Use linking words more to show how ideas fit together.
structure
Finish with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
content
Shows a real attempt to compare both sides.
content
Uses some concrete examples like cooking and sewing.
structure
Has paragraphing and some linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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