IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important . Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Angsa

Currently,
although
Linking Words
 many people view exercise as the primary key to
health
Use synonyms
, others argue that a balanced diet is equally significant. In my opinion, these two factors are inseparable and complement each other. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with,Inasmuch as exercise improves physical
health
Use synonyms
 by preventing diseases and strengthening the body,
furthermore
Linking Words
, it is widely
recognized
Change the spelling
recognised
show examples
 that physical activity benefits mental
health
Use synonyms
 by reducing stress and improving mood.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a balanced diet is equally crucial because it provides essential nutrients that fuel the body and support immunity.
For instance
Linking Words
, consuming the five food groups—proteins, carbohydrates, vegetables, fruits, and healthy fats—is vital for maintaining
overall
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both exercise and a balanced diet are essential for the body. Neither can be overlooked on the grounds that they must work together to achieve optimal
health
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your answer first: state your view, then give two sides, then your own view.
cohesion
Use simple link words to show the flow such as 'also', 'and', 'but', 'for example'.
grammar
Fix grammar: correct 'To being with' to 'To begin with'; add space after comma; avoid awkward phrases like 'Inasmuch as'.
content
Give one strong example for each idea to show how diet and exercise help health.
style
Keep sentences short and clear; avoid long, difficult words.
accuracy
Check spelling and punctuation at the end.
content
Clear view on the topic from the start.
structure
There is a plan with intro, body, and conclusion.
ideas
The idea that both factors work together is easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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