IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

It is undoubtedly the case that urban areas around the world increasingly suffer from
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion. There are several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem, and various measures could be taken by governments and individuals to improve the situation. There are a variety of
different
Correct word choice
apply
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factors that have led to heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
. One of the major causes can be that
people
Use synonyms
 use a significant number of cars.
For example
Linking Words
, my brothers often take the bus to work and go out
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, they need to spend 1 hour waiting for the bus.
Morevover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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incredibly inconvenient
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there are not enough options for
people
Use synonyms
 to use, especially for those who live on the outskirts far from the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. Another reason is the growing population in big cities and towns.
For example
Linking Words
, there are approximately 700 thousand residents in
Taipei
Use synonyms
 and New
Taipei
Use synonyms
city
Fix capitalization
City
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, the system of public transportation is not sufficient to serve
this
Linking Words
 number of
people
Use synonyms
. Despite some obvious reasons described above, there are several actions that the government could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a simple solution would be to launch discounts and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to take public transportation. The second measure would be for governments to invest in transportation systems and improve the current transport.
For example
Linking Words
, authorities increase more public vehicles in rush hour in
Taipei
Use synonyms
 and New
Taipei
Use synonyms
city
Fix capitalization
City
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, some companies allow their employees to conduct work from home to avoid being
stucking
Correct your spelling
stuck
 in
traffic
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite some obvious reasons, various measures can be taken to tackle the problem of heavy
traffic
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give more details for each cause and for each fix. Add steps or examples to show how a fix would work.
task response
Make the main idea clear in each paragraph. Start with one point and then add a line of support.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words. Use first, then, also, but, for example to show order and cause.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences short and easy. Check grammar so the point is easy to follow.
content
The essay shows a clear topic and tries to cover both causes and fixes.
coherence
The writer uses sign words like firstly, secondly, finally to show order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
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