IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear...,

Dear Petty I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well.
According to
Linking Words
 the previous letter I received from you, you were facing some challenges fitting in your new
school
Use synonyms
. I am
therefore
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to make some suggestions to overcome
this
Linking Words
 predicament. The first thing I suggest you do is
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 friendly and approachable.
This
Linking Words
 will draw a lot of learners to you
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they may want to create
friendship
Correct article usage
a friendship
show examples
. Another strategy is to join
school
Use synonyms
 clubs
such
Linking Words
 as the debate club and public speaking. By so doing, some students may like your confidence and start playing with you. I hope you are still active in sports. The
last
Linking Words
 time you were here
you
Punctuation problem
, you
show examples
 played netball with passion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one
Correct your spelling
occasion
occassion
Punctuation problem
occassion,
show examples
 you won a trophy for being the best defender. I
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 you to continue playing sports as
this
Linking Words
 might help you to fit in the
school
Use synonyms
. Remember to take your
school
Use synonyms
 work
serious
Replace the word
seriously
show examples
 because soon we will be writing our final exams. I hope to meet you soon. I miss you. Take care of yourself. Your loving friend Musa.

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structure
Break the letter into clear parts. Start a new paragraph for each idea: be friendly, join clubs, sports, and study. This helps flow.
language
Fix small grammar and word use. Use simple forms like 'be', 'join', 'practice', and 'advise' instead of big words.
content
Add one clear plan for the next steps you want your friend to take in the new school.
tone
Keep tone warm and kind; you show you care.
tone
The letter has a kind and warm tone for a friend.
content
It gives real ideas to make friends, like clubs and games.
structure
It ends with care and support.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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