IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart shows the percentage of males and females who were overweight in Australia from 1980 and 2010

The bar charts illustrate the
figure
Check wording
percentage
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 of females and males in percentage who were obese in the nation of Australia from the year of 1980 to 2010.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the year 1980, a maximum number of 40%
womens
Correct your spelling
women
 were overweight and outnumbered
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 who were
stucking
Correct your spelling
stuck
 at around 33%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, after a period of a decade, both of their percentage increased to about 48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in 2000, the bar charts
hitted
Correct your spelling
hit
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 peak point of more than 60% of males were obese,
while
Linking Words
 around 52% females were overweight too.
However
Linking Words
, from 2000 up to 2010 they experienced a gradual decrease on overweight
mans
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 to about 60% and the percentage of females
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 the same.
Finally
Linking Words
, Australian men and women were overweight, but the number of men
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 more than the number of women from the beginning until the end of the period.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 were not hitting the gym or doing some personal exercises in Australia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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